Comparison Is the Thief of Joy: Why I Avoid Comparative Thinking
Photo Courtesy of Dietmar Becker - @dietmarbecker
Great words by Theodore Roosevelt. We live in a world obsessed with comparison. Social media, workplace evaluations, even casual conversations—all are riddled with phrases like better than, worse than, more successful, less talented, faster, slower, stronger, weaker. These comparative terms subtly shape our mindset, often leaving us feeling either inadequate or superior. Neither outcome is healthy.
I dislike comparative language because it shifts our focus away from personal growth and gratitude. Instead of appreciating where we are, we fixate on where we aren’t. Instead of celebrating others, we measure ourselves against them. Comparison creates an invisible scoreboard where we’re constantly ranking ourselves, but there’s no actual finish line—just exhaustion and discontent.
Why Comparison Steals Joy
When we use comparative terms, we trap ourselves in one of two mindsets:
Inferiority – “I’m not as successful as them.” “My life isn’t as exciting as theirs.” “I should be further along.” This thinking breeds discouragement, jealousy, and self-doubt.
Superiority – “At least I’m doing better than them.” “I have more experience than they do.” “They’re struggling more than I am.” While this may feel good temporarily, it fosters pride and an unhealthy need to stay ahead.
Neither of these perspectives lead to joy. Instead of finding peace in our own path, we become fixated on someone else’s journey. The Bible warns against this type of thinking:
"Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you." – Romans 12:3 (NIV)
This verse calls us to a balanced view of ourselves—not inflating our own importance but also not diminishing our worth. True joy comes from seeing ourselves through God’s eyes, not through the lens of comparison.
How to Avoid Comparative Thinking
Use Absolute, Not Relative, Measures
Instead of saying, “I’m not as successful as them,” shift to:“I am making progress in my goals.”
“I am learning and improving daily.”
“I am where I need to be right now.”
Focus on your personal growth rather than how it measures up to others.
Celebrate Without Comparison
Instead of saying, “She’s more disciplined than me,” say, “I admire her discipline, and I can learn from it.”
Instead of, “His business is more successful than mine,” say, “His success is inspiring, and I’m committed to my own journey.”
Gratitude and admiration don’t require self-criticism.
Track Your Own Progress
Keep a journal, use an app, or reflect on past accomplishments. Your only real competition is who you were yesterday. Comparing yourself to your past self is productive—comparing yourself to others is destructive.Embrace Your Unique Calling
No two people are meant to walk the same path. Someone else’s success doesn’t diminish yours. The gifts God has given you are yours for a reason—embrace them fully.
A Life Beyond Comparison
Imagine how much lighter life would feel if you stopped measuring yourself against others. What if you could celebrate without comparison, work toward growth without anxiety, and embrace your path without looking sideways? That’s the freedom that comes when you reject comparative thinking.
Joy isn’t found in being better than someone else. It’s found in being fully present in your own life, grateful for where you are, and excited about where you’re going.
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